At Least Until You Find Out What A Fake I Am

I am going to try something new here again, I have added some insights into the pictures to accompany the titles. I have also created a playlist, per usual. This is another one of those posts that feels quite vulnerable. Eeh, you all like it, and it may help my work come across (insert shrugging emoji here).

Reading -

The October Country - Ray Bradbury

The Beauty Of Photography - Robert Adams

Films -

Videodrome

Night and Fog

Lynch/Oz

Peggy Sue Got Married

The American Friend

The Brood

Couple On Bench, Montreal 2018 - My wife and I had stopped walking the city to break for a bit of water and to decide on a dinner venue for our first night in Montreal. I looked around and noticed this couple sitting on the bench in the distance. In my head, I probably thought this was the best Paris shot I could make outside of Paris, but I also loved the simplicity of thinking about us still doing this when we reached the couple's age. A lot of this image is me daydreaming of a romantic future with my wife.

Forest Ave, Portland, ME 2018 - I have always had a soft spot for this picture. It's taken from the back steps of my apartment in Portland, ME, about six months before moving to Vermont. It represents my feelings towards the city at that time. I love the warm glow of the windows to contrast the snow and empty trees of January. I also love the eerie dumpster to the left side of the frame. There is a clear divide between a desolate, cold foreground and a warm, inviting background, with a barrier of unfriendly trees separating the two. I felt at home in Portland and loved so much about the city, but I also had an MR. Bagel and drug addicts lurk outside to contrast the beauty and warmth of the town. I capture this in a very subtle way with this image.

Horizon Of Power, Vermont 2022 - This picture was a by-product of a project I was shooting in the Northeast Kingdom. The Power lines and Wind Turbines meeting at the horizon is something wonderful. I really love the challenge this image presents. It's going to be an image for some. However, I was quite pleased with it. I want to print it on the larger side and see what that is like someday.

Baker St, Gardner, Massachusetts 2023 - In this recent picture I made in October, I love that the street is deserted, besides burned rubber tire tracks from the past and a person getting into their vehicle in the distance. I love the hung American flag amongst a building falling into disrepair with boarded-up windows in the left foreground of the image. Further down, we see a box of abandoned children's clothing next to the sign for the public park down to the left. Across the frame from that, even more trash and a deserted couch rest in front of the house facing us in the background of the right side of the frame. It feels like a memory of hope, a forgotten dream, and the downfall abandonment of the working class. I see signs of Crewdson influence mixed with Walker Evans.

On The Couch, Massachusetts 2023 - I saw this couch while I was out on a photo drive. I pulled over immediately and had to photograph it. The image works as a giant ball of metaphors, the apparent therapy pun of being on the couch. It was a way of being on the couch with the people that look at my work. It's about myself using nature to try and heal, It's about abandonment, and it's partly about being used roughly and then discarded as nothing more than trash. It has much to unpack; we will leave it in a profoundly reflective and personal image. Fun fact: I am excited to auction a print of this off at this year's Photo A-GoGo to raise money for The Bakery Photo Collective in Portland, ME.

I Know That Its Delicate, Massachusetts 2023 -I gravitate towards making pictures of dead flowers. It’s a subconscious act. Only once has it been a planned event. I have researched the symbolism of dead flowers, and from what I found, they represent loss, negative energy, sadness, and decay. I have been dealing with quite a lot of those things over the last six years, so it’s all starting to fall into place as to why I’ve been unconsciously picking dead flowers as a subject, maybe not even picking them. It’s more of a magnetic pull.

The Apple Tree, Massachusetts 2023 - This picture of the young apple tree almost accompanies the image above. The Apple is considered one of the most sacred trees and symbolizes good health and future happiness. I am not myself a religious person. However, given the track of my life over the last year, I can find the irony in being compelled to make this picture. The photograph is ripe with religious symbolism, which always interested me.

Futile Devices, Massachusetts 2023 - This image is the third installment in this series of images, clearly displaying religious symbolism. The cross emerges from the flora (this time alive, not symbolizing joy, love, and beauty. Interestingly, Raspberry bushes, which in art raspberries, even though not shown, represent creativity, maternity, love, and kindness, all things I have surrounded myself with over the last year and a half.

Dreamscapes, Massachusetts 2023 - An image of a recurring dream i’ve been having. Dreams of tire tracks represent that you are going somewhere with your life and you are on track to leave your mark. Tire tracks in dreams in front of you are said to represent that you may feel left behind or abandoned. If the tire tracks are behind you in your dreams, that is said to represent that you may be leaving a situation behind you, a job, or possibly a relationship. I will leave it there; you can interpret your feelings based on their meaning.

35mm Diary

September 14, 2023

Feeling like a stranger

A collection of 35mm Photographs.

It isn't easy to put the past few years into a comprehendible statement for people who haven't experienced it. A lot of change and a good deal of self-reflection has happened. I have seen how fast life is moving and started to notice it while I'm here. This entry is a collection of those feelings captured through images. Some are more straightforward than others, but either way, they all say something I would like to convey. I want to try and classify the way I am shooting as a documentary. Feel free to Google that; I want to go beyond the full explanation here. I have attached a playlist that is the right mood for the images in this collection. These feel very out of my comfort zone. I don't usually shoot 35mm color or things, mostly off feeling and trying to forget the technical. These are things I've been working on over the last few years. Stepping back and trying to make work that I feel as opposed to making work for someone with a technical achievement in mind. For example, I really would not have had the guts to take the portrait of my mother a few years back. It seems simple, but it's the first layer of the onion I have begun to pull back. That's all I've got for you, Cheers! I hope you enjoy the work.

Summer Breeze, Vermont 2023

Grandpa’s Aqua Velva, Vermont 2023

Toy Horses, Vermont 2023

Moving In, Vermont 2023

Mother, Vermont 2023

Part II

Help, Im Alive, Massachusetts 2023

Body Bag, Massachusetts 2023

Eyes The Window To The Soul, Massachusetts 2023

United, Maine 2023

A Forgotten Dream, Massachusetts 2023

Spring is in the Air, Massachusetts 2023

Rich Spirit, Massachusetts 2023

Courts, Massachusetts 2023

Lost Dog, Massachusetts 2023

Past, Present, and Future, Massachusetts 2023

Landline, Massachusetts 2023

Fallen Limb, Massachusetts 2023

Animals, Massachusetts 2023

Insecurity, Massachusetts 2023

Daydreaming, Massachusetts 2023

Silly Rabbit, Massachusetts 2023

Have Fun With It, Massachusetts 2023

Heavenly, Massachusetts 2023

part iii

I Know The End

Severed Limb, Massachusetts 2023

Youth In Bloom, Massachusetts 2023

Bluebird, Massachusetts 2023

A Good Climbing Tree, Massachusetts 2023

Elm Street School In Spring, Massachusetts 2023

Dunn Park, Massachusetts 2023

Rebirth, Massachusetts 2023

A Glimpse Inside, Massachusetts 2023

Stowe, Vermont 2022

What’s Around The Next Bend, Vermont 2022

Untitled, Massachusetts 2023

The End

More To Come.

Changing Everything

I want to try something new for this most recent post; I was tired of the old format. Having just come out of a pretty big creative rut after the birth of my child and a significant move across a couple of states, I wanted to talk about inspiration! I have added a few examples of images I have created and what lead to the inspiration for the image. I study other photographers' work but pull most of my visual inspiration from cinema. This idea started after a friend sent me a DM comparing the likeness of an image I created of my wife 6 or 7 years ago to the painting by Johannes Vermeer, Girl With A Pearl Earring. I was flattered as this was the first time I had considered the comparison (having not been exposed too far into the painting world until the last year). It got me thinking about everything I pull inspiration from, and I decided this might be a fun post idea. I hope you enjoy this new attempt; I have added a playlist per usual, as music is always one of the biggest inspirations to me. I love photographs and music together.

My Film Recs for this post is simple:

BARBIE!

Pulling Inspiration

Most of my work is inspired by visuals I have seen. A scene heavily influences the image to the right in Andrei Tarkovsky’s 1983 film Nostalgia. I have included a screenshot of the scene underneath.

Tarkovsky uses the rule of odds here, which and atmosphere to help to take his to the next level. I recall seeing this scene laid out before me and almost having a nostalgic flashback to this scene and having to snap it. Ironically enough the image holds a painful and dark attachment of dark nostalgia at this point in my life.

Don’t be afraid to look like those you are inspired by!

This shot was initially created for a beauty shoot. I remember snapping it and immediately deciding I was keeping this one for my work. We didn’t discuss motives or what the model was going to do. I like to see where people naturally go first, and most of the time, they must pick up on a subliminal message. I tend to go for the dark and sad. This shot always reminded me of David Lynch’s Laura Palmer, as seen below.

Painting Inspired

I had a friend tell me recently this image reminded them of a painting they were quite fond of.

Girl With A Pearl Earring - Johannes Vermeer

Ode To Melancholia

This image was inspired by the Lars Von Trier film Melancholia, not the shot most would assume to try and pull from either. The film is filled with painting-inspired images, most notably Von Triers' take on Ophelia.

Family Ties

This image was created with Sally Mann’s Immediate Family in mind, clearly using a medium format instead of a large format and relying heavily on the Light and what my nephew was naturally doing rather than a posed shot.

A Play on Wyeth

This image was created in the likeness of Andrew Wyeth’s Adrift while I was home visiting Maine before the birth of my child.

The Devine Comedy

Today's post is a collection of Images made over the last six months. I have started a study of the remains of blue-collar mill town American Northeast but have also been experimenting with all kinds of new styles and formats. This post is just a collection of some of the work I enjoy out of that madness. Not sure if anything will come from it or if I am treading water waiting for inspiration! Per Usual, a playlist is attached, along with some film recommendations.

Films To Check Out:

- Breaking the Waves

- Paths of Glory

- Smooth Talk

- Cure

- Autumn Sonata

Currently Reading - Walker Evans by James R. Mellow

are you doing this work to facilitate growth, or to become famous?

It’s been a few mins since I posted to the blog, and I plan to continue moving my work sharing to this platform; social platforms are feeling empty and self-serving these days.

I will continue to add playlists of music that have been on repeat. I plan to add books and films that have also inspired me recently.

I have been overwhelmed by the feelings that come along with being a father and the level of responsibility that is attached. I love it more than anything; just not sure I am worthy yet. I feel too selfish a person to be able to give what is needed in the way I dream successfully. This post is primarily an Ode to my son, whose first word with Dada was on Father’s Day. I added in some Landscapes I was pleased with that I made recently.

I have been coming off a lackluster reception of my last big project and trying to find the inspiration and motivation to dive into the next project, which will be the most conceptual I have ever tried with photography. I have been brainstorming this project for the last six months; I am also creating a documentary of sorts body of work. Not sure where any of it is headed; I am just excited to be excited about making photographs again. I have also been looking for a community of like-minded photographers/artists to integrate with and discuss/critique/brainstorm with.

FILM:

  • Hour Of The Wolf

  • Sawdust and Tinsel

  • The Deer Hunter

  • Apocalypse Now

  • Rumble Fish

  • Dogville

  • Fanny and Alexander

  • Stalker

  • The Elephant Man

Books:

  • Fred Herzog - Modern Color

Something New

I have been spending a good deal of time walking in cemeteries lately. They are relatively peaceful. I have been watching a lot on Pictorialism and just old cameras and shooting things for light and form vs. sharpness and texture. I decided to take some images and create a style replicating what I like about these older images I’ve been researching. I chose to go with an ISO of 50 and a Shutter speed of 1/50, similar to the shutter of a Kodak Brownie. All images are at f8; I think I will move to 1/30 for the shutter next time, as I want a bit more motion blur to further abstract the images. Overall very happy with how these images turned out. Since I have my child, I don’t have the extra cash to splurge on film, so I am trying to make my digital workflow as similar as possible, not only in aesthetics but also by shooting manually and focusing manually and attempting not to use the LCD as much as possible. Images convey the mood and atmosphere I wanted for the work. I hope you enjoy I have attached a playlist per usual.

Click on the image to see the uncropped version!

Out Of The Ordinary

Food shoots are not regular for me. I used to shoot a monthly piece on bartenders in Portland, ME, but rarely dabbled into food. Only recently, in the last three years or so, I tried my hand at food. Not my strongest trait, but it's fun to try it. I spent a good chunk of my mind 20s assisting a very talented food photographer and learned a great deal from her. I defiantly won't be chasing down food jobs, haha. Stick to things you are passionate about, which restaurants are not mine.

Trusting Your Gut

What will I end up doing with these posts? They will eventually become my replacement for social media. I like this format better than something like Instagram less anxiety involved and more focus on creating! This post was a fun practice of looking back at past works with a fresh set of eyes and stirring up new ideas for future projects.

A collection of Past work.

Much of this work never got used as it was shot for other projects, and I wasn’t sure of my voice yet.

Summer Of Sam

On The Trail Of Love

Young & Innocent

Young & Innocent

Screws Loose

Young & Innocent Pt. 2

A Voice

Finally, now in my Mid 30’s, I think I am listening to myself more with my style.

The Game Of Life

It Weighs Heavy On Me

Strangers In Headlocks At Bars

Youth In Revolt

Plain White Tee’s

Full Throttle

James Dean Daydream

Towels

Shadow Figure

The End.

.

Discarded & Forgotten

This post will be the first post that features a collection of new work that has yet to make it past the hard drives. As usual, I will add little backstories for the images and a curated playlist, and all my work will be accompanied by music if I can make that possible. This first post will consist of all the new 35mm shots for this shoot. We ended up using all the digitals on this one. Glad I finally get to put these to use for something! So much work gets left behind these days with Social Media. You shoot and pick out the frames, and that's what gets shared once, and then boom, the lid closes on tons of work. It's a shame.

35mm beach shoot- Abby

I always loved these. However, we scraped them due to the scar on her hip.

The Magenta tones in this film stock are my favorite! I love how they came out. It gives it a slightly dreamy feel, like this might not be the reality of the situation.

Soft, Sad, Dreamy

These images always nailed the themes I was going for, Listened to a lot of Lana Del Rey before the shoot.

Agro

I never really used these as they felt too aggressive back in the day. I have changed my tune since then. They don’t push nearly hard enough now.

The colors and saturation mixed with the attitude and sexuality were a match made in heaven.

Photographing Women

I have photographed more women than men, that's for sure. Generally, I have an easier time getting along with women than men, and it's always been that way with more female friends. I enjoy photographing men; equally, I think it's harder to find men willing to be vulnerable, so in turn, it's harder to find men that want to shoot outside of a showing off their muscles style shoot. It's a very tricky thing to photograph people. I am not photographing them; I am using them to portray a character I have in mind for what I want to express. This can be a tricky balance as they want to look good, feel good, and not be portrayed negatively. It ends up being more of a game of creative compromise, and it helps to work with open-minded individuals who also have a vision. I prefer creative collaboration to just telling someone what I want from them. Doing that leaves images feeling less human.

Tranquility

Sometimes you shoot a vibe that’s not a part of what you had in mind for the shoot. I always suggest rolling with whatever naturally happens (it usually leads to exactly where you were looking to get to).

Episode #3

I don't know how to start this one off; it's the most recent playlist I curated two nights ago. We are currently trying to get our five-month-old to fall asleep on his own; I.E., I am not getting much sleep. Since moving to Massachusetts, I have been doing a good chunk of reflection over the past few months. The past four years have been the hardest I can remember since I was a teenager. I curated a handful of images to accompany the playlist that sums up much of what happened and changed me in the last four years. I hope you enjoy it! Appreciate art & people that share music with you!

Alchemy of 2022

2022 was a whopper of a year, which is the easiest way to start this off. I am not a blogger, but this is a fun use of this website. Last year consisted of many family changes. I quit my job and moved out of my home state where I lived for the second time (more on this story later, it’s a long one). My primary life factor was becoming a father last year, which was life-changing and earth-shattering in a good way. I spend every day with my son, as I am a stay-at-home dad, something I have considered a luxury as it’s not something openly afforded to men in the US. Towards the end of the pregnancy and my career/living in Vermont. I contacted a company in the Northeast Kingdom that I deeply admired. I spent late spring until my son arrived in this world. I was working on a romanticized documentaryish project. I wanted to share some of the “cutting room floors” shots as it was tough to edit this project. I have not been working at home for five months and have had very few outings to work on large photography projects.

I added a playlist of heavily played songs from 2022 enjoy!

Midnight Radio

Late at night or early in the morning I should say. I have a habit of curating playlists to combat insomnia. This will be where I share them, enjoy!



Quarantine Playlist Vol:1

Enjoy! I’ve been trying to stay creative and busy in the lockdown I hope you all have too.

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